Dad-bods and the red threat

The Stadtpark Triathlon in Hamburg is usually a fun race. This year, I (stupidly) raced with the hard-core group, with the day’s first start time at 8am. The athletes appeared to be in teams, with a large section of whippet-skinny youngsters in red; they looked remarkably like greyhounds standing on the feet, and they huddled together the way cold and nervous dogs do.

There were also the age-group grimacers, the older guys who sport large watchy-looking things on their wrists and have a look in the eyes that betrays a determination to be at least 10 seconds faster than last year. These grimacers were also rocking the dad-bod.

Dad-bod is a recent phenomenon that’s gained traction fast. Here’s an explanation of the dad-bod. Basically, it’s a slightly out-of-shape guy, who’s maybe got a few kids and perhaps doesn’t have the time to workout like before, and is getting a little flabby around the middle, and a bit soft in the arms and shoulders.

Remarkable then that guys with such dad-bods can go out and post extraordinary times in endurance races. I was even beaten by an athlete in the 55-59 age group who was rocking a granddad-bod!

While I had an ordinary swim, I had a solid race and was happy with my time. There was also something interesting about being almost 40 years old, and being beaten by someone just about old enough to be my father.

The greyhounds in red dominated the race. The 22 year-old winner clocked 55:46 (a good 12 minutes ahead of me) and was greeted at the finish line with the race’s MC saying, in German, something along the lines of: “Congratulations and good luck with the doping test.”

Shame no testing gets done.


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